Penelope's Test

O here. I am looking younger and better, but my wife doesn't believe me. #sadface My wife had to test me to see if I was really myself, and not an imposter. #eyeroll She told the servents to try and move our bed to the hallway. #don'ttestmypatience I said that there is no way you could move our bed to hallway, because of how it was made.

After that, she new it was really me; and just like when I, for the fist time since the war, caught up with my son; Penelope and I had a tender moment. #ifeelbetter #smileyface She and I were very happy to be back together. #iloveit Me and her are happy again.

Hey O here for one last blog. Yep my adventures are over I’m with my wife and son now  #one big happy ending. I’m glad to be off the sea thank to God I‘ll always got seasick # not so fun. I live happily to be a king again and to have my queen as well, and my kingdom is back to normal as before I left for Troy.

I hope your adventures take you places and I hope you live on the crazy side like what I did okay maybe don’t go as crazy I did but takes those risk. Boy did it take long time to get home I wish I didn’t make the Cyclopes #big mistake I could have been home by that time if I didn’t make the Cyclopes mad and then I made one of the Gods made # not a good idea.

Well I guess that all I have to say for my last blog. Sorry no pic this time had no time to take one. Good Bye every one! O out is Peace!

Hey, its me Odysseus again. I am at my palace and my son Telemachus had to get equipment for me because I am running out of arrows #there's a lot of suitors. I have started to kill them for what they have done to me and my wife. May Zeus and Athena help me fight these men off. Then they started to offer me what they had taken in food and gold and then give some extra to me, but I declined #Time to feel the wrath of Odysseus. My son came back and we (Eumaus and other loyal citizens) finished the rest of them off #Unstoppable. I also got to fight with my son, for the first time, who I had missed for the longest of time.

Hey, that's me blocking the doorway from the suitors. #Telemachus where are you when we need you

The Challenge

Whats up everybody. It's me Odysseus yet again. So I got home and now Penelope has to choose one of the suitors to marry. To choose one, she makes a challenge of shooting an arrow straight through 12 axes, and the winner gets her hand in marriage.  Of course, no one could make it, so I ask to have a turn even though I'm acting like a beggar and she lets me try!

I get ready by slowly getting my axe ready to go. I take all the time I need. I finally pull the arrow back and shoot. You'll never guess what happened. It actually went through all of the arrows! #EpicHeroProbs

In that moment there was a huge lightening bolt. It was a sign from Zeus that it was go time. This was a sign that the war was starting. #HereWeGo Wish me luck killing all these people. I'll need it.

 Here a pic of me and Penelope just chillin.

“Twenty Years Gone, and I am Back Again”

Whaddup my people! You know just Odysseus here again. You'll never guess where I am? Yeah I'm home finally. It took a good twenty years, but I made it in one piece.

As I'm walking up to the palace owned by my long lost friend Emmaus. I meet my son!! Tireseas
 Sweet old  Tireseas! Boy did I miss him. I was only in his life for a little bit until the day I left was heart breaking. Atlas I am reunited with my son. But wait i can't just tell him it's me he won't believe me. Athena the god makes me look young again. Then Tireseas recognized me and we had reunion of tears. While I was talking to Tireseas we had to come up with a plan to help get all the suitors out of our house. #ThinkingSkills. 

First we will have to act like you never saw me. Like I'm just another beggar. Second Tireseas you have to hide all the weapons in the palace except weapons for me and you. Third YOU MUST KEEP THIS A SECRET!

Heres some pictures of the reunion:  

The Suitors

Hey, it's O here, and I'm gonna tell what happened when I walked into my palace dissembled as a beggar. #irritated Nobody but my son knew that it was me who was the beggar. #shhh...don'ttell Just as soon as I walked into the palace, one of the many men who wanted my wife's hand, threatened me, and I replied back to him, but in the same tone he gave me. After that, he threw a stool at me. #ohnoyoudidn't After that stool was thrown at me the looks on the others faces' were like 'dude, bad idea', they possibly thought that I was a god in disguised as poor beggar mortal, well I wasn't. #inyourface On the other hand, the guy who scoffed at the others didn't listen to them. #idiot After a while, I was told that my wife heard that there was a beggar, and she wanted to know if that said beggar knew where Odysseus(me) was and when he is getting home. So, I was then brought to her.

 Before I was called to see my wife, I took count of the many men who were tresspassing in my kingdom. #getout Like I said before, there were many of them. Almost 100, go thing I had Athena and Zeus on my side. #cheatinglikeaboss Only one out of the others really ticked me off. That one person was the one who threw the stool at me.

As I was being taken to go see my wife after 20-something years, I retook in the sights. Just like I was told, my palace is trashed! #OMZ #soangered I couldn't believe my eyes. They really let this place go. But at least I was back in MY palace. #don'ttouchmystuff I was a little anxious to see my beautiful Penelope again. #mywifenotyours It was a good thing I was still disguised as a beggar. #thankyouathena

Sorry there are not pics this time. Gotta delete some to make room for more. Until next time, see ya later. #endofpost

o   Hey Odysseus here again, I’m finally home #happy guy. When I finally get outside of the palace we see a dog it was Argus and boy does he look like he is hundred years old # that is one old dog.

o   Then Argus recognized me in my discuise #smart dog Argus try’s to go to me instead of coming to come how old he is he just wags his tail ect. He waited this long to see his master one time and when he did. Argus finally dies #sad :( .

o   I hope Argus is happy where he is right now #dog heaven. Will I forever miss him he was the best dog I ever had. He was my best buddy. # I miss my best dog friend. See you later please come back to see more what happens next in my new blog.

o    

Penelope

Its me talking with Penelope

Yello guys it's me Odysseus again. So I'm home and I was threatened and already had something thrown at me#nicewelcomehomegift. Any way now I'm being asked to see Penelope my wife. Keep in mind I'm still disguised as a beggar so she won't notice me.

I finally get up to where she's at and she starts asking me questions like where am I from and who raised me and what my name was. I tried avoiding them by saying that I don't want to talk about my home. Then she told me about all of the horrible things that went on here back at home. She told me that when people started thinking I was dead that all of these suitors started coming and asking her to marry them. She said she wouldn't though because she wasn't giving up. Then she told me that they finally told her that I'm not coming back that I'm dead so its time to marry. She said okay but first she need to make this shrug first then she would pick one to marry. She said she would work all day and then take it all out during the night, that worked for awhile but then they caught her so she was forced to finish it. Then she tells me she's about to give up because her parents and everyone except her boy was pressuring her into marrying. It pained me to hear this because she was my wife and I cared for her so much. She then asked me again where I was from and who I was and who raised me and instead I told her that I have seen her husband Odysseus and he is alive and well and on his way home. Hopefully that will raise her spirits a bit.

Well wish me luck on everything else. Hopefully all goes according to plan. I'm also hoping that Penelope will recognize me when all of this is over. I'm also praying that we will win the battle. I'm meaning that I want revenge for what these suitors have done here. I won't give up until I win, so hopefully all goes well. Well wish me luck.

Yo, Odysseus again. I am updating you all from Helios's island right now. #AwesomeRight? We were blown here from another storm. Helios's island is full of Helios's cattle that we are not to touch. It will be very tempting for not only me but my men. We have to go for a month on our own food and wine. #UhOh #CouldBeBad

One day, I went to go pray to Zeus. While praying, I fell asleep. During my "nap" Eurylochus talked to the rest of the crew. He said talked them into butchering the cattle for food. They chose one of the cows for an offering and ate others. #SomeCrewHuh Eurylochus said it was better than starving and knew there would be consequences. #HeWillGetIt

There were a couple of days that were storm free, so we set sail once again. #Yay. Eurylochus, with his actions the other day, will be punished by Zeus and Helios. Helios threatened Zeus to strike the boat with a bolt of lightening or he will light the underworld. So Zeus did what he was told and Eurylochus and the rest of my crew drowned. #TheirFault #StupidMove. I, being crafty, made a raft with the remaining parts of my ship and floated by Scylla and Charybdis again. #ISurvivedLuckily. I held on to a branch for a whole day to get my raft back from Charybdis. I then float to Calypso's island and I will end up staying there for about ten years. #LongTime #NeedToGoHome #NOW


Here I am on Helios's island with the cattle. #Moo #Instagood

Here I am hanging on for dear life at Scylla and Charybdis waiting for my raft to come back out from Charybdis. #Scary #Scared 

This is Calypso's island from a far. #Beautiful #LoveIt #Instalove #Instagood 

            Hey guys, Odysseus here with my crew. I am looking at the storm that lies ahead and I just remembered that we have to get past Scylla and Charybdis. So, I have to brainstorm another idea to get us past another obstacle.

            Don’t mind me I am just at sea blogging to you guys. My next challenge is to pick between Scylla and Charybdis. Because we are already at Scylla and Charybdis, I have to choose whom to pass.

             I got it! I’ll choose Scylla because he will only take six men. Charybdis would destroy the ship and all of us on it. So, we have a better chance passing Scylla than Charybdis. One more thing, I didn’t tell my men that we were at Scylla because they would all loose focus, so, I kept it a secret. Scylla snatched six of my men, but I regret seeing them be devoured by Scylla. I wish I still had my men and that their deaths could have been avoided. We are past Scylla and are on our way to our next problem.

  

Look it’s me later in the story with Scylla and Charybdis in the background

 Hey! There’s me looking at the storm over Scylla and Charybdis trying to think on which of them we should pass.

           

Sirens' Island ahead

Sup people. It's me Odysseus again. You're probably thinking what did he do this time? Because that is what I would be thinking if I were you. Well I got got back from the Land of the dead which would probably be the worst place I have been so far on this trip. Anyway I made it back to Circe's island and got ready to leave, but first I had to ask Circe about the obstacles we would run into, because you know there's always trouble around the corner that we get ourselves caught into. It's like were going through mud and always get caught in it, only this time we always get caught in danger. Any way Circe warned me about the dangers we would run into and one was the sirens. She told us not to listen to the sirens sing because otherwise they will lure us to our deaths because they'll make us crash the ship. So clearly I wasn't to be frightened, no big deal we'll get through it. NO! WHAT WAS I THINKING, AM I CRAZY, OF COURSE IT WAS A BIG DEAL! Sorry it's been a long trip and I'm starting to lose it. Once I pulled my crazy, tired self together I gathered my men and headed towards the sirens island.

Once we were close I told my men that we were going to come across sirens. I told them not to listen and be smart, but they had to tie me, crazy me, to a mast and not untie me no matter what, and every time I said untie me just muffle me more and what ever you do, DO NOT, untie me or listen! Then I got bee's wax and gave it to my men to put in there ears; I know weird and gross, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time and we couldn't afford to crash. They tied me to the mast and then went back to rowing. All of a sudden I heard very beautiful singing. The Sirens. Okay just pull it together Odysseus. I couldn't help but get lost in the music it made me want to dance and just be happy so I couldn't help but sway. Wait no, keep it together. I finally gave up because it wouldn't matter I was tied to the mast. So I started swaying more, I told the men to untie me because I wanted to go to the beautiful singing but they just muffled me more. I felt so at peace listening to the sirens sing. All of a sudden the singing started to go away. I started to get out of the trance and get back on track and focus. Once we were officially out of there my men untied me.

Hey it's me tied to the mast #scary and crazy

Well now were on our way to another obstacle and this one frightens me more. Hopefully I won't dwell on it to much. I think the sirens was the least complicated obstacle we've come across so far. Hopefully the next one won't be as bad as I think it will be and hopefully I make the right choice. Well wish me and my men good luck. Actually you should probably wish my men more luck because they have to put up with me and my stubborn, crazy self.

What's up everyone. It's Odysseus with another post. So I was just on Circe's Island and I really wanted to get home. So I asked Circe how to get there. She told me I had to go to the underworld to see Tireseas! #Scary So I decided to go to the underworld.

So I get there and of course I'm a little scared but I saw one of my men who died on Circe's Island! I was extremely sad to see him here. He asked me to have a proper burial for him and mourn for him. So I agreed. You'll never believe what happened next. I saw my mother! #VerySad She was just alive when I left home and now she's here! I was extremely depressed, but I had to keep going.

I finally got to Tireseas, who told me that on the way home, my crew and I will pass Helios' cattle. The thing is, I have to leave them alone and can't eat them! If my crew and I butcher them then only I will make it home and there will be lots of trouble at home! I don't think I'm gunna mess with the cows, but ya never know. Wish me luck!

Here's a pic of me chillin in the underworld. #InstagramPic 

Hey guys, Odysseus here again. You would never believe where I'm at! I'm on Cyclopes island. We sailed upon here when this gigantic storm hit. When we got to the island; 12 of my men and I got off the ship. The rest stayed and watched the ship. I've heard of Cyclopes before; people say they are big and mean; they give NO sympathy;to anything #ScaryMean! I mean they don't sound mean or anything but, man do they look scary

 Well, I thought that since we got to the island on accident we might as well explore the place a little. All my men were trying to tell me to leave that it was a bad idea. Of course stubborn me; I said no. So now that 12 of my men and I are walking alone this island we spot the cyclopes cave. When we into the cave and then we heard the cyclopes coming; and its not like you couldn't hear him. You could tell he was a big fella because, you could hear him walking toward the cave. BOMB! BANG! He closed the big rock infront of the door way after all of his sheep got into the nice warm cave. Now I had to think a way to get out of this place... Now nothing could get worse #Sic. The Cyclopes spots my men and I in the fire with our shadows. He captures one of my men and threw him into his mouth. My men were scared they were going to get eaten along with the man. But i I told them I was thinking as hard as I could. AHHHA We will get the cyclopes drunk off the ivy we brought will us. The cyclopes soon got a little tipsy. He finally passed out. Now for my brilliant part. The fire was nice a hot still. I brought my spear over to the fire; I roasted it and I later than poked the cyclopes eye out with the hot spear. That woke him up and he started weeping and calling his other cyclope's. But did i forget to mention that when the cyclopes was a little drunk that i told him my name was Nohbody? Well while the Cyclopes was yelling and calling his men. my men  and i needed to find a way to get out of the cave. How you ask we did that? While the cyclopes was talking to his men and I was thinking. The cyclopes was telling his men that nohbody was here. Then the cyclopes's left to go back to there caves. The Cyclopes instead of pushing the rock over the door; he sat there. Boy, did i have to think. The sheep aha. He lets the sheep out in the morning. My men and I went towards the sheep and tied ourselves under the sheep. The cyclopes let the sheep out and now we knew we were free. We ran to the ship. I told the men to aboard the herd. We pushed off the shore. After we left the island I yelled back at him with pride. Now the cyclopes was mad. He grabbed a bolder and threw it toward our ship. We came back toward shore, because of the wave the bolder made #BuffCyclopesProbs. We finally got out of there successfully witht he herd of sheep and my men; minus the ones that got eaten.

Here's a couple picture I told on the island: #InstagramFlow

Whaddupp guys, Odysseus here. I'm here, on Lotus Island with three of my crew members and the lotus eaters. Lotus Island is full of lotus flowers. The people on this island are kinda loopy. My men and I were carried here from the HUGE storm. #SailingProbs. We are all safe, luckily.

While we were on this interesting island, we decided to explore a little bit. My three men tried the lotus flower, and they too became loopy and didn't want to leave. I figured out that the lotus flower is like a drug that makes you forget.  When they ate the flower, they forgot about going home and they just wanted to stay on the island and eat more flowers. #DumbMistake. I had to find a way to make them come with me. I thought for a moment, then I dragged them to the ship even though they were kicking and screaming.

Even though the lotus flowers are pretty, they make you forget about what you were going to do, like going home for instance. It's a good thing I didn't try that flower or we would still be on Lotus Island to this day. #HappyGuy.

Sailing from Troy

What up, it's Odysseus again. We finally left Troy and we landed on the island of the Cicones. There, we just started off by enslaving the women and slaughtering the livestock, no big deal. But, then my men got greedy and wanted to stay. This gave the Cicones time to go get help, and before we knew it, a whole army was upon us!

We fought bravely, but we ended up losing six benches worth of men from each ship. We finally surrendered and left the island, only to be blown around in a storm. We can't catch a break!

You'd think after a war that all my troubles would be over and the gods would cut me some slack, but here they go giving me storms and dead crew members. I'm feeling really frustrated and defeated, and more homesick than ever. We're back on the water, and I just can't wait until I see the lights of Ithaca. Hopefully we don't run into any more trouble.

The Trojan War is FINALLY Over!

Hey, everyone. Odysseus, here. I'm the King of Ithaca and I've been fighting in the Trojan War for the last ten years. Now, I'm all ready to head home. It will be a long journey, so I thought I'd keep a blog so that I can tell everyone where I'm at in my trip and what I'm doing.

First, I should probably tell you a little bit about where I've been (a Trojan Horse doesn't get the best cell reception, so I'm a little behind on updating everyone with my Tweets #EpicHeroProblems).
Like I said, I've been a soldier in the Trojan War for the past decade. The whole thing started when the Prince of Troy, Paris, stole the beautiful Helen, from her husband Menelaus. She was gorgeous, and his wife, so naturally, Menelaus was a little ticked. He convinced his brother Agamemnon to send an army to attack Troy and get Helen back.

A bloody war over this woman raged on for the next ten years outside the walls of Troy. I was tired of it all; I  just wanted to go home to my wife and son, Penelope and Telemachus. So one night at camp, I thought to myself, "If only we could get inside the walls. Then we'd have a better chance." I came up with the brilliant idea of building a huge horse out of wood and making it hollow on the inside. Here's an Instagram I took of it:

We put the horse right outside the gates of Troy, and we all hid inside it. The Trojans saw it and thought it was some kind of gift or a message of surrender, so they brought it inside their city and celebrated, having no idea that the whole Greek army was inside. Once they were all asleep, taking over the city was a piece of cake, and the war soon ended.

So now, I'm finally on a ship home with a crew of a few men. Sure, the journey will probably be long and difficult, but there's no way it can be longer than 10 years or more difficult than a war, right?